The Hidden Cost of Every Person’s Sexual Trauma Insights Jan 2008

I don’t remember how old I was when I realized the adult women in my life were trying to convey that ‘bad men’ might try to hurt me simply because I was female.  I was too young to understand the concept of rape, or even sex.  Can you remember how old you were when you became aware of the concept or existence of rape?  Sadly, for some children both male and female, their first awareness is personal experience.  For others, it is a fear that is instilled by both genetic imprinting and conditioning.

Why would this matter to ordinary people who live normal lives?  You might be wary of parking garages or walking at night – that’s just practical, because mugging happens, too.   Some caution is reasonable, not a result of trauma.  After all, you can think about circumstances and take steps to be safe.

The subconscious mind has a different perception of the world.  Loaded with primitive programs designed to cope with a world where predators considered you dinner, it is much more wary.  It may be influencing your body, and your behaviors, to protect you from potential threats.  Those influences may not suit your life.  Often, great changes can happen when healing releases these primitive programs.

Your subconscious will be wary of any kind of attention, even good attention like praise for a job well done.  If you realize positive feedback is hard to come by at work or at home, it’s a sure sign that your subconscious is protecting you from attention that could dangerously attract a predator.   

Your subconscious may have a desire to avoid.  What it avoids depends on your personal programs, but may include things like being out, crowds, or strangers.  The easiest way to see this subliminal effect is when you find it hard to leave the house once you’ve gotten home.  A plan to shop or go to the gym that seemed perfectly reasonable earlier in the day becomes too much trouble, or you’re too tired, or just not interested.  All these losses of ambition can be achieved through the body chemistry that your subconscious mind controls, in its efforts to protect you from the world.  Since its agenda does not correspond to what you think, it doesn’t matter what you have decided. 

You may have a desire for physical or emotional intimacy in your relationship.  Or, you may have a desire to meet interesting people to form a relationship.  If your subconscious views sexual attention of any kind as a potential threat, it will protect you from these dangers by exuding ‘no fishing’ signals that directly contradict your desires.  Since people respond primarily to those subliminal signals, your efforts to provide ‘come hither’ aren’t going to work.  This can create a frustration and feeling of rejection that will increase your subconscious’ desire to protect you.

One of the most obvious places to see the protective efforts of your subconscious is in activity.  When it seems that you are too busy, or too tired, or just too distracted to do more than what is necessary, you’re being sabotaged by your subconscious.  Sometimes, activities that used to be fun become lackluster.  It becomes hard to know what will give you a lift, or generate fun or enjoyment.  There may be a subtle awareness that even when you are having a good time, it’s not quite what it used to be.  There it is again, your subconscious protecting you from potential threats.

You can learn to reprogram your subconscious so that your decisions become your behavior effortlessly.  The key is to know you are capable of assessing circumstances and deciding how to keep yourself safe without operating primitive programs to override your thinking mind.  There are tools that can change specific subconscious reactions, but for the purposes of this article I’ll provide something that is slower, but can work for all the issues.    

This is a basic tool for teaching your subconscious to feel safe with shopping, desire, or fun.  Take a moment to sit quietly and breathe to relax your body.  Imagine forming a ball of bright white light around you and spin it through your body and your energy.  Take time to sit with the spinning light passing around you and through you, bringing comfort and relaxation.  When you are ready, imagine tuning the light to ‘I am safe.’  Your intention provides the tuning.  Imagine the feeling of being safe is penetrating your tissues and your energy, even your brain.  The light can melt away the triggers that activate programs rejecting fun, activity, and desire.   Releasing these programs allows your decisions to create your behaviors and experiences, instead of primitive fear programs. 

These programs have many layers, so healing can take time.  You’ll see subtle results as you progress.  Take back your life.  Enjoy.

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